My Great Camping
When I was study in Pangudi Luhur Junior High School, I joined in PRAMUKA or "Praja Muda Karana" in the second grade. At that time, I went camping to celebrate PERTUTA or "Perkemahan Tutup Tahun" in Bantul, exactly in Glagah's Camp Site. There were eleven groups who followed there and I joined in "Mawar" Group or Rose Group. I and my friends went there at 8 o'clock by truck. It was so interesting journey.
After that, I and my friends were there and built a tent there. It was so fun because we could work together. At 10 o' clock, I and my friends followed many activities there one by one such us "PBB", "Tali-temali", Wide Game, and etc. I and my friends took a lunch at 1 o'clock. I was really hungry. Then, I and my friends continued to finish our wide game. I and my friends had to followed the sign from the start place until the finish place. It was so tired but we still felt spirit to reach the finish place. After two hours, I and my friends could reach that place. We took a rest there.
In the evening, I and my friends went back to our tent again and prepared to go home because it was only a simple camping. I and my friends went home by truck again. It was so fun. I called its my best experience.
After that, I and my friends were there and built a tent there. It was so fun because we could work together. At 10 o' clock, I and my friends followed many activities there one by one such us "PBB", "Tali-temali", Wide Game, and etc. I and my friends took a lunch at 1 o'clock. I was really hungry. Then, I and my friends continued to finish our wide game. I and my friends had to followed the sign from the start place until the finish place. It was so tired but we still felt spirit to reach the finish place. After two hours, I and my friends could reach that place. We took a rest there.
In the evening, I and my friends went back to our tent again and prepared to go home because it was only a simple camping. I and my friends went home by truck again. It was so fun. I called its my best experience.
ema...
BalasHapus"I and my friends...", I think should be "My friends and I...."
"such us..", maybe you want to write "such as..", am I right???
but nice post, ma...
Hi,Francisca...
BalasHapusIt's me risma, do you still remember me...
Well, I'm your teacher of past narrative if you still forget me...
It seems a long time for me to remember my Pramuka cause the last time I had camping when I was Junior high School. While in the Senior High School, I had uniteresting camping. Why? Because we did not have camping but just stayed in the school and did not build the tent just slept in the classroom. What a boring camping for me....
Okay, First I like your orentation because it gives me beackgorund story before the main story. what I meant by background story is you unconsciously sum up your story for the general activity. So, in another word, I have such kind of imagination about your camping.
Beside that your readers are familiar with your story, so you don't need describe anymore about Pramuka.
And for the error mistake, I agreed with the previous commnet from kika kiku especially about "I and my friends".
Well, to avoid this mistake, you can use "we" to replace " I and my friends".
so, it would reduce the mistake of your writing.
Okay, Francisca, yo had a good job for me..
And actually you just made few of mistake in your story..
Jus t keep it till the end...
If you still have many questions about that, just see me in my blog and you can leave your questions there..
Okay, see you anymore Francisca..
Bye..bye..bye,...